Embarrassing Black Celebrities: Jackson Family Edition

Sigh. I apologize for being a slow on writing this one, but here is goes.

I was at the movies over Thanksgiving weekend. The advertisements that they show before the film are annoying enough, but in addition, I had to sit through a promo for the Jackson Family’s new reality show on A & E, which premiered earlier this month. I must say, I have rarely seen a family that is more content on siphoning as much money and career reinventions as they can off of the one son that has some talent.  Mind you, I do not include Janet Jackson when I talk about this family. She is very talented in her own right and went out of her way in the 80s to distinguish herself and build a career entirely on her own. She relocated to Minneapolis and built an act from the ground up with the help of music producers Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis. No, pals and gals, I am talking about the other Jacksons. That marginally talented, alarmingly parasitic, and financially irresponsible bunch from Gary.

For those of you unfamiliar with the Jacksons, here is a quick summary. Parents Joe and Katherine Jackson had 10 children – Rebbie, Jackie, Tito, Jermaine, LaToya, Marlon, Brandon (he died at birth), Michael, Randy, and Janet. They settled in Gary, Indiana and Joe formed the singing group, The Jackson Five – which included Jackie, Marlon, Tito, Jermaine, and Michael – around 1966. The group made their national debut in 1969 and racked up an impressive four #1 singles in 1970. They had a “boy band” following that would have made N’Sync and New Kids on the Block jealous. They even had their own (short lived) variety show. Popularity of the group waned in the mid 70s. In the late 70s Michael Jackson’s solo career started to take off. It was very obvious from the beginning that Michael was the most talented of the five brothers. He had done a few solo albums in the 70s, but it was his solo album, Off the Wall that was his real breakthrough. And the rest is history….He went onto to iconic status, while the rest of his brothers faded into obscurity becoming pathetic has-beens. As you know, Michael Jackson died on June 25, 2009. And all of a sudden, there were the Jackson brothers again….and there was his father, Joe, from whom he had been estranged for years.

Papa Jackson did a lot of press in the days following Michael’s death, particularly on June 29, 2009. At a press conference with Al Sharpton (huh?) he referred to Micheal’s success as follows: “We were famous…we were famous all over the world…” What do you mean we, douchebag? I don’t recall ever seeing Joe Jackson do the Moonwalk. I get that he formed the group and apparently drilled the boys in their dance steps relentlessly, but as a parent, taking credit for your child’s accomplishments when that child is in his 50s – it’s just tacky. But the most unbelievable, disgusting, and unconscionable thing of all was the press that Joe Jackson did before that press conference. Earlier that day – to the horror of the public – Joe Jackson had done an interview to promote his latest entertainment project!!! Yes, my friends. Four days after his son’s death he was out plugging his own crap! What. The. Fuck.

As for Jackie, Marlon, Tito and Jermaine, the description on the website of the reality show is as follows:

Behind the headlines lies a captivating family, whose lives have been unwillingly played out before cameras for decades. After 40 years in the business together, Jackie, Jermaine, Tito and Marlon have sold more than 250 million albums worldwide (I’d like to see this number broken down into how many sold when Michael left the group). Now, the brothers allow unprecedented access into their world as they record new material and rehearse for a concert celebrating the 40th anniversary of The Jackson Five. The Jacksons: A Family Dynasty will chronicle the brothers’ relationships with each other, their parents and their children, while also balancing the demands of their professional commitments and celebrity. (emphasis mine)

First Question: What celebrity? Can you tell me who gave a rat’s ass about the Jackson brothers before Micheal’s death this past summer? OK, fuck that – answer my second question: Who give’s a rat’s ass about them now? All of a sudden, they are “professional entertainers” again – rehearsing and records for their “tour.” Give me a break! Memo to the Jackson brother: You are not famous anymore. Enjoy the memories you have of being famous and get on with your lives – start a charity, invest in real estate or a restaurant, but stay off the damn television for fuck’s sake. This is the worst case of capitalizing off of a dead man that we have seen in a while.  These people are riding the media storm of their brother’s (and son’s) death like a mechanical bull, desperately trying to hang on as long as they can while people are still looking so they can make a buck.

Disgusting, pathetic, and oh so embarrassing.

Embarrassing Black Celebrities: Sherri Shephard Edition

Sigh. What can I say about her. As some of you may know, Sherri is a co-host of ABC’s The View, a daytime talk show where 5 women dressed in designer clothes sit at a table with coffee mugs and discuss what’s going on in the world. Most of the stories are ridiculous tabloid trash (yesterday for example, they discussed Ivanka Trump’s wedding), but occasionally they discuss serious news items. Anyone who has watched this program in the last year is well aware that Sherri Shephard is quite possibly the dumbest co-host in the history of television. Let me count the ways.

The woman had never voted until 2008 and didn’t even “know the dates” of the elections. She was totally unaware that civilization, religion, philosophy and culture existed prior to the birth of Jesus Christ. Sherri was uncertain as to the shape of planet earth. She also has really fucked up views about clothing and gender and is apparently one of the many bigoted anti-gay black Christians who do not want to “redefine marriage.”

If you watch “The View” you are well aware of the Sherri Shephard situation. Once when the gang was interviewing Bill Maher while he was promoting his film Religulous, she asked him why he had not turned his questions about faith to God to see what He had to say. Um, Sherri…honey: People who are atheists and agnostics don’t speak to God. Why? Because they believe he is a figment of your imagination and don’t care to go through life with an imaginary friend. Unfortunately, there was no time for Bill to respond to this insanity because the segment ended abruptly.

Let me say this: she seems like a nice person and she is a very funny comedienne when you give her some good writing. But I find it difficult to respect a person who has uttered that many bigoted, or just down right dumb, statements on national television. I just can’t do it.

She’s embarrassing.

Barely Black Series: Embarrassing Black Celebrities

In the coming days I will begin a very special series: Embarrassing Black Celebrities. In this series I will highlight one person in politics or entertainment that makes you want to hide your face behind your glass of chardonnay and change the subject every time their name is mentioned at parties.

Stay tuned.

It’s OK, Steve Harvey, I Think You’re An Idiot, Too

As some of you may know, Steve Harvey is a comedian. He is also the author of a book entitled “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment.” Oy vey. How tired am I of these bullshit relationship books…

Mr. Harvey was interviewed on CNN by Joy Behar (lover her!) while she was filling in for Larry King. According to our pal, Steve, when you meet an atheist, you should walk away. No, wait–you should run! No, no, nevermind…first your should tie them up and throw them in the river and if they sink it means they are not a witch! Although I suspect that when most atheists encounter idiots like him, they usually walk away first.

This is a prime example of why religion is the worst thing to happen to black people since slavery.

By the way, he seems like a bit of a sexist, too.